History, short version.

I
Hard to think of myself as I
Always trying to figure that one out. But here goes...
Normal-ish childhood. Got to thinking I knew better. Started running away and found drugs.
Lots of bad relationships, and ones that were good I ruined. It shocks me today that ANYONE from my past talks to me.
Suicide attempts, hospitalized,diagnosed bipolar/depression, ran away from everything. New state, worked my ass off,  beat by boyfriend, found night in shining armor.
Married, became pregnant, stopped working, hubby has 1st brain injury. Son has Autism, became stay at home mom, home therapies, loss of friends, marriage issues(insert this anyplace there's a comma from here on).
Moved closer to family, lost dad, pain issues started, lost work, moved in with mom, hubby has 2nd traumatic brain injury,
I think it's been almost 2 yrs since last brain injury, but it really seems like nothing has changed.
Now dealing with my own physical/mental issues

there's the quick version. I don't hide shit, so ask questions if you have.

Things I hate

Here it is 1 am and I can't fall asleep.

I hate.....
Thinking when I can't control where the thoughts go.
Depression - not being able to control that either.
Chronic pain - it's draining. Physically, emotionally, and any other way.
Being lied to by someone I really trusted. Though being lied to by anyone sucks too.
Being betrayed.
Believing in something/someone that I shouldn't.
Feeling that I'm not doing enough for my son.
Feeling empty.
Not being able to move around like I used to.


Thinking - yeah I know I said it before, but that's what started this whole thing.

Gonna go try the sleep thing.......................