So it's now 2013. And I celebrated last night with a drink. Yup - me, the now sober one.
No, I didn't fall off any wagon. Actually since I had made the decision to get sober a year and a half ago I've had a few sips of beer here and there.
I know my triggers, and they're gone. I'm not stupid, I know to be aware of things, but for the most part - that way of thinking that led me to drink the way I was is gone.
So, last night I had 2 mimosas. To be honest I didn't even feel a buzz and I honestly don't think I'll be having another any time soon. It wasn't as good as I was expecting. I really don't miss any of the feelings alcohol used to bring me. It just solidifies in my head that I really am past that part of my life. It feels good.
I know I had a few people concerned when I had said I was going to have a drink last night. But I promise - the person I was a year and a half ago is gone. And I'm glad.
I might not like where I am in my life right now. But I do like the person I'm on the road to becoming and have promised myself to continue down that road this coming year. I won't make resolutions - they get broken and that in turn breaks your will.
What I will do is promise to myself to get back on track with changes I started to make last year that I let slip during the holiday season. So therapy, medications, doctor appointments etc will be gearing back up. As much as I didn't like those things, I realize now that they were all necessary in helping me feel better physically and mentally.
I can't write anything about this past year or upcoming year without being insanely grateful for the people in my life. Without these people there's no way would I be on the road I'm on. I've lost touch with a few people and reconnected with some I never thought I'd talk to again. I am beyond blessed for the amount of love I have in my life. Thank you!
I wish everyone a happy, healthy, love filled new year.
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